Have you ever had to produce a set of particulars for a property that you know will be difficult to sell?
Estate agent jargon has become a real art form over the years. As more and more agents look to give themselves the edge over others when selling a property they often look to ‘sex-up’ their brochures and adverts.
Here is a taste of some of the terms that are frequently found in estate agent brochures along with their real meaning.
“Ambient nightlife” – next door to a pub
“Easy maintained gardens” – gardens so small that investing in a lawn mower would be a waste of money
“Attractive period building with original features” – this house hasn’t had any renovations since it was built in 1826
“Convenient local transport links” – railway running through back garden with a busy bus stop right outside
“Much potential” – requires a lot of money
“Secluded location” – in the middle of nowhere, barren and desolate. It wouldn’t look out of place as the film set for Mad Max
“Charming” – tiny and the cottage’s main entrance is only five foot high
“Close to schools” – the noise from the playground was deafening
“Bijou” – would suite contortionist
“Studio” – glorified broom cupboard
“Easy access to M4″ – next door to busy slip road
“Interesting conversion” – it doesn’t work
“Deceptively spacious” – furniture removed to make it look bigger
“Some en-suite facilities” – sink in bedroom corner
- SEPTEMBER 29TH 2012
- MATT TONER
